“...I arrived just in time for the Inferno Festival, a heavy metal gathering that two of my roommates were in town for. They were kind enough to inform me that it was extra special this year because a fan was getting out of jail after murdering someone years ago, but they assured me that it was completely in self-defense and the system was corrupt so I shouldn't let that taint my impression of heavy metal fans, which until then had been of people who liked to loiter in front of Starbucks and tell me I was working for ‘the man’ when I didn't get them free drinks...”